A sample story from “Chocolate for a Teen’s Spirit”

Getting Over Him
by Anne Pennebaker

That Saturday afternoon I came back from summer camp in a complete daze. I had met an amazing guy named Ryan who I couldn't stop thinking about. All I wanted to do was get home and wait for him to call me. Then something rather unpleasant occurred to me. I already had a boyfriend, and a sweet one at that. I mean, he did send me countless letters and packages while I was at camp. He was my first boyfriend, and we had been going out for eight months. That was like a record in our grade or something.

Pretty much everyone thought we were totally perfect for each other, including me. But I guess I had a spurt of insanity the day I got back from camp, because I dumped him via an e-mail that went something like this:

Dear Max,

I am sorry, but things just aren't working out between us. We aren't getting along, and I just want a break right now. I hope we can still be friends, and I'd like to consider getting back together once school starts. Hope you understand.

ALWAYS,
Anne

So of course the only thing he could do was accept the fact that I didn't want to go out with him anymore, and claim to agree with everything I said. I later realized that what he wanted was not a little break, or to just be friends, but simply to protect his pride. I guess I had a lot to learn about boys.

Summer quickly passed and school started before I knew it. I had received an occasional e-mail here and there from Ryan, but not a single phone call. I was utterly disappointed, but soon got over him. I still liked Max (a lot) and just planned to breeze right back into school, flash him my sweet smile, dazzle him with my fresh tan, and have things be back to normal once again. We had liked each other too much to just get over each other so quickly, or so I thought. Apparently, the feeling was not mutual. He seemed to show no interest in me at all, but I still kept hope.

When our first school dance of the year rolled around, I was so excited I couldn't stand it. This was my chance to get Max back!

As it got later into the evening, one of my friends came up to me and said, "Anne did you hear?"

"Hear what?"

"Max just asked Kathryn out! Everyone is talking about it! He thinks he’s so cool because he is going out with an older girl. Can you believe it?"

I could not even reply as tears filled my eyes and I hurried into the restroom. How could he ask her out? I was so angry. Not at him, but at myself for letting him slip away like I had. It was a huge mistake to dump him in the first place and the realization of that hurt more than anything else did.

I knew I had made a mistake, and immediately saw how crazy I had been to leave Max for a guy I hardly knew, or had true feelings for. So I composed myself, walked back out into the gym, and somehow managed to get through the evening, trying to act as if it was not bothering me at all.

For the whole school year, I felt the same way. I knew it was sort of unhealthy to be so hung up on him, but I felt like I was in love with him and could never move on. Something about him being my first boyfriend really affected my perspective, and I could never quite comprehend how he had gotten over me so quickly. Maybe it’s better that I never figured it out, because I know that the answer would probably just have caused me more pain than I could handle.

Every day I would hope for two things--either that Max would break up with the girl he was currently going out with, or that I would have an incredible revelation and suddenly be over him.

Max and Kathryn eventually broke up, yet Max and I never ended up back together. I literally hoped and prayed every night that something would change his mind about me, and fell asleep dreaming about the various ways he might apologize and try to win me back, but it was all in vain.

To this day, I still regret my decision and can’t help but wonder what would have happened if I had only realized how important Max was to me. Despite the numerous times I replay the whole thing in my mind (or maybe it’s my heart), I always come back to the same bottom line: it could be different. I could have kept all of this from happening, but I made a stupid mistake that cost me a year of tears, suffering, and total heartache.

Even though I am not over the boy, I have realized the situation is out of my hands. Being older, and hopefully a bit wiser, I've come to learn how important it is to stop and think through the decisions I make. I let go of Max so quickly — on a whim really — and have regretted it ever since. It's ironic that I now know how to take care of my special relationships — something that Max deserved all along.

If hindsight were ahead of time, we’d all be better off. —Cindy Potter